This is devoted to those whose wealth is so overabundant that they necessitate advice on how to dispose of it. Iíll also confess that many individuals without income to burn also exercise these wasteful methods, although exactly why individuals not billowing in cash behave in such a manner remains a mystery. In any case, stick around for instructions on how to spend foolishly, the better to exempt you of unneeded riches.
  • Sir Walter Raleigh made it proper
    Itís implausible that you understand the economical implications of a daily pack of cigarettes in your lifetimeópresuming, or course, that the smoke you inhale allows you to live a full lifespan. Fact is, it recently astounded me, for though I formerly smoked, it dates back to the years of $19.99 per carton. However, I recently discovered my local prices of $3.90 a pack. Studying the outcome of both income and sales taxes, it takes around $6 of my earnings to purchase a pack. So, I ran the numbers to see what that would grow to if an 18-year-old deposited that amount every day into an IRA account at 7.5% until age 65 instead of puffing it all away. The result is beautifully impressive: $870,000. So for those of you who acknowledge your duty to assist tax collection efforts, in addition to sustaining the American tobacco farmer, I call upon you to open your heart and soulóas well as your billfolds and lungs.

  • Paying interest is pleasing
    Do you habitually pay your charge card balances right away and in full, so that you are billed no interest? But for those of you who extend unpaid balances over from month to month, you may delight in your credit card companyís immortal admiration for you. Were it not for the masses of people that pour out billions in nondeductible interest on their MasterCard and Visa accounts, many superior banking officials would live far humbler lives. And do not neglect the boon to this nationís economic system that relies upon never-ending and flourishing debt by its citizens, propelling us on to dandier heights, keeping up with the newly invented tradition: Spend your way to success! America is counting on you.

  • The costly nuptial is precisely the thing
    An uncomplicated wedding, where the bride and groom exchange vows in front of family and friends, then recess to a garden or chapel hall for abstemious recreations, will never do. Thatís merely too plebeian. What you genuinely want is oomph. This means dignified clothing, grandiloquent displays, a self-aggrandizing banquet hall, high-priced floral arrangements and party favors, the most elegant cuisine for no less than 500 guests, a 20-piece band, and entirely topped off with a 2-week honeymoon to a few exotic places in 4-figure-per-night spousal suites. Thatís what tying the knot is totally about. And whether the married couple lasts through the season is orthogonal. What genuinely matters is wasting the shekels in a way that makes everybody envious.

  • The only way to go!
    Death is the single event none of us will avoid; no one gets to cop out of that experience. But the final bon voyage is a different story, with a bevy of options available. The median cost of a funeral in the United States today, not including cemetery expenses, is just over $5,500, of which half represents the casket price. However, a growing number of funerals incorporate last rites with a less expensive cremation. An even more economical alternate is through an associate of a funeral society, where the recently deceased can be cremated and the last remains tossed out for less than $800. Any coveted memorial service can easily be delayed until a future date, a morticianís adverse opinion notwithstanding. Unfortunately, our trouble with an ennobled low cost funeral is significant; we donít get to spend very much. What you actually want is blowout celebrations, in perceptible poor taste, that can set you back $20,000 dollars. This, then, leaves the departed to take satisfaction while watching the festivities from up aboveóor possibly from down below.

  • The waste of a last resort.
    Is it possible that, in spite of your best efforts to free yourself of undesired cash, your assets prevail? Then attempts must be aimed towards the last frontier: the gambling field. Fortunately thereís no shortage of paths you may take to be regally robbed. Itís said that in every game, someone wins. Thatís certainly true, although whatís dismissed is that the only logical winner is the pari-mutuel system. But if the negs are not to your wishing, there is certainly a lottery near you. Presently 29 states and the District of Columbia operate government lotteries, with billions of dollars yielded annually. And as anticipated, the officials work a sure thing. The money and payouts are organized to make sure the player turns a loss. And at last, if all else fails, there's the casino. At an earlier time effort was demanded to respond to the come-on of Atlantic City or Las Vegas, but no longer. Over half the nationís states collectively with several Canadian provinces now host Red Indian casinos, where blackjack tables, roulette wheels, and slot machines operate round-the-clock to scalp the palefacesóand whoever else roams onto the reservation. I believe itís too late to circle your wagons, as many of them already have mortgages attached.